The bravest battle that ever was fought; Shall I tell you where and when? On the maps of the world you will find it not; It was fought by the mothers of men – Joaquin Miller
This quote spoke to me, for a number of reasons. The most obvious being that I am a “mother of men”, or at least, God willing. I will be one ay.
Motherhood is a battle, a battle of wills (theirs and mine) a battle I don’t always win, even if I am “the adult” (as my husband likes to point out). I choose my battles wisely, and some aren’t worth fighting. For instance if my little guy wants to wear one red and one brown sock with orange shorts and Crocs, or splash in the tub, I let him.
Then there are times when I’m not as wise or very patient, and I’m easily upset because my son won’t sit still or fights me when I want to style his hair and he’s refusing me, and hair gel is melting in my palm. I become upset because he’s not bending to my will, when it was my parenting choices which allowed him to know he has a will of his own. This I know will be important one day. It’s getting through days where everything feels like a battle, that make this motherhood gig hard, my only comfort is that a strong character and sense of self is something I value and want my boys to have.
These “battles” are small, and insignificant in the grand scheme. The larger battles are truly fought within my heart, the wretched feeling of guilt that can sometimes shadow motherhood and only bring more questions and self doubt. Am I doing the right thing? Is he getting enough of my time? I fight these silently, and in my own mind. Ultimately concluding that as a mother I can only do the best I can, learn as I go, and lean to other mothers for advice, comfort, and the reassurance that they fight their own battles too.
But then there are those battles where I stand my ground, and it is a simple one to win, because it’s not a battle to shower my little men each and every day with all the love I hold for them, so they never doubt for one moment they are valued, loved, and cherished for themselves. Because to love my children, and have their love returned is my life’s greatest blessing.
To read the full poem this quote came from – Motherhood by Joaquin Miller click here