I’m feeling pretty happy right now. In this moment I am…breathe…happy. If I’m to be perfectly honest I’m happy almost constantly. I’m a naturally positive person, but the reason for my utter bliss in this moment is that last night I plugged my ears into my iPod and turned it up as loud as I could stand and got lost in my own little made up world for a while. In other words I wrote. Really wrote-for the first time in what seems like forever. I didn’t go to bed till after two in the morning-but who needs sleep when you can get lost in your own creative mind?
How do you make yourself happy? The answer is really quite simple -if you ask me-and even if you aren’t asking I’m going to tell you. Do the things that make you happy. For me its writing, when I write for me, for the pure and simple pleasure of putting words down on paper to form logical sentences, sentences that then turn into a story I am made to feel happiness.
I write nearly everyday here on my blog. I’m happiest though when I don’t feel pressured to write. Pressure to write that review that’s been sitting on my desk for a week, or when I feel obligated to just get something out. What I realize is that’s not why I began this blog. It wasn’t so that I could tell you about a new product I got to try for free, or because I felt obligated to do so. I began this blog for me. For the pure and utter love I have for writing. I began this blog to use as a tool to improve my chosen craft, to make myself better.
I think somewhere along the line I lost that a little here. Its been a while before I’ve written a post I absolutely loved or felt proud of like this one. From now on there’s going to be no holding back-not really. I mean obviously there is going to be things I’m not going to share. But if someone pisses me off-you and them are going to be able to read about it. Likewise if I’m feeling really shitty that day you’re going to read about it. Yes-I’m normally a happy, cheerful, positive person-but we all have crappy days-and I’m not going to shy away from writing about that-not anymore. I am in no way saying that I don’t have problems. ‘Cause believe me when I tell you that I do-but we all do. I can honestly tell you that some pretty fucked up shit has happened to me. It happened. It’s in the past. It’s over. I don’t wallow. I feel. I feel deeply with great passion-but when the pain of what ever happened is done, I let it go. I think that is the other key to how I can maintain my positivity and happiness. Do I get depressed-of course I do. As a matter of fact I wished I had known about blogging four and a half years ago-because back then I was lost. I felt like I was drowning. I was slowly loosing the happy me. I was suffering from post postpartum depression. I’m not going to get into that now, because that’s not what this post is about. I may not ever get into that here-but I may and that’s the awesomeness of blogging. I can write about what ever I choose to.
Getting back to the how’s of making oneself happy-I also-and this is a big one folks-feel gratitude. I acknowledge every little blessing I have and give thanks. That makes me appreciate the simple little things in life, like a slobbery all tongue kiss from my toddler who hasn’t quite figured out how to pucker, or the way a cloud can seem to dance in the sky. I savor all that life has to offer- the bad, the ugly, the strange, the amazingly spectacular can’t believe your eyes good.
After all isn’t that the purpose of a blog? To share your own personal story with the world? Whether the world decides to read it-isn’t the point-the point is-in my mind anyway to get the words out there…and so I shall.0