I realize my posts have been low on the content for a little while now. My writing in general has been off kilter (literally too-Vertigo’Round anyone?) I’ve been preoccupied with other things lately and writing, which is usually my escape has been put on the back burner. I’m working at working on getting more me put back into this blog. I’m not saying that I don’t see myself in it. I realize that anyone who comes to The Pink Chandelier almost immediately gets a sense of who I am. I’m proud of that. It took me a little while to figure out exactly how to do that.
In my personal life I’ve always known who I was. Online it was my goal to show that. I think for the most part I’ve done so. I think however that a lot of me isn’t getting showcased and that is what I am working at working on.
I hope so.
If this sounds familiar, I did touch on this in my post Little Miss Sunshine. No-I’m not depressed-I’m just trying to figure out how to get back on my path. Right now I feel like I’m walking in the grass, which isn’t exactly a bad thing when I really think about it.
I would like to figure out a way to enjoy the grass beneath my feet while still dancing towards my goals.
Oddly enough an old post of mine inspired this little reflection.
Sometimes I like to go back and read a random post. Today the desire struck me to do this and I came across this post I wrote last August, I KO’d the Dream Crusher. It is one of my favorite posts. If you haven’t read it, I hope you do and enjoy it.
Here’s a tidbit from it:
Tap, tap, tap, my fingers against the keys…nothing. I sat there a few more minutes staring at the other patrons. Two teen-aged girls whispering over a book, a little girl with headphones in her ears carrying a stack of books in her arms (she reminded me of myself), a store employee with a really cool t-shirt as he came out of the back room, an elderly couple discussing their coffee order…nothing. Finally I decided to order a drink. I closed my laptop and headed for the barista, feeling completely downtrodden and very much like a failure. I ordered an almond Italian soda, and made my way back to my laptop scowling disdainfully at the sight of it; knowing full well that I did not feel that way. (I do have a flare for the dramatic-so you can see why I would do something like that. Right?)0