12:30 a.m: Family arrived home from lovely evening with friends.
12:45 a.m: Evan half-asleep attempts to make it to the bathroom, but gets nowhere. Vomits all over his bedroom floor. His father and mother clean things up. Mother has concerns the dreaded 24-hour bug that has plagued so many friends has struck. But Evan gave her hope when he said, “I feel good.” With a worrying heart, the parental units put him back to bed.
1:30 a.m: Commence “Operation Santa”. Wrapping of gifts and general Christmas things occur in a less than Christmasy spirit.
3:00 a.m: The proverbial “Witching Hour”. Mother posts a very Christmasy photo to social media of tree with all Santa work complete. Parental units expect to be dreaming of sugar plums within a short period.
3:05 a.m: Hopes are dashed when mother hears what can only be described as a coughing-gurgle-gag, coming from the children’s place of slumber.
Mother dashes in, turns on the light, and discovers a horrible sight! Poor sweet Evan, in his brand new Batman pajamas is covered in puke from brow to belly, as are his bed coverings. It’s a view that would make even the most harrowing of Santa’s toss his cookies.
She called to her husband who was not so quietly snoring on the couch to arise and come see what was the matter!
3:10 a.m: Evan is bathed and fresh smelling once more. He’s dressed in his pajamas from three-Christmases past and snuggled up between his parental units and a bucket.
3:25: a.m. Vomiting child.
3:30 am: Child sleeps.
3:35 a.m: Parents pretend to sleep.
3:45 a.m: Vomiting semi-conscious child.
Parents all but conscious lost grip on bucket.
Sheets removed from bed.
3:48 a.m. Parents actually fall asleep. One still wearing her spectacles.
4:20 a.m: Vomiting child.
4:30 a.m: Vomiting child.
Parents fall asleep.
4:45 am: Vomiting child.
4:50 am: Child sleeps
5:00 am: Parents sleep (sort-of).
8:09 am: Elder child awakes. “Merry Christmas!”
Mother explained preceding events of the night. Elder child tears up and generally freaks out over baby brother. Mother says, “Go see the presents, then go back to bed.”
10:45 a.m: Sleeping, previously puking child awakes, seemingly “normal”, asks about, “Santa”.
11:00 a.m: Family opens gifts.
11:45 a.m: Previously puking child is given broth and crackers.
Noon: Previously pretending to sleep mother prepares “French toast casserole” from recipe she scored on Pinterest.
1:30 p.m: Three family members eat.
1:45 p.m: Previously puking child now has other excremental issues.
2:00 p.m: Mother & father sipping mimosas. Children are happy.
Life is messy, but good.